May 10, 2026 @ 1:32 PM | by Walter Frawley

After months of constant lobbying under an expectation that nothing would effectively change, the student body of Hoboken's world-renowned Stevens Institute of Technology are "disappoint[ed]" by the administration's legitimate endeavor to improve the food offered by their on-campus dining venues.

"Yeah, I mean, we'd all grown accustomed to how shitty the food is," said chemical engineering major Ross Erle-Statmann in an interview. "It was fun to talk about with friends. Now that it's actually tolerable and has no pathogens, it's just... disappointing. Just another thing that shows how little they care about the students. Type shit."

Erle-Statmann and thirteen other students plan to hold a civil protest outside of Pierce Dining Hall on Friday in the hopes of restoring the food to its "rightful, detestable condition".